Comfort

Colossians 2:2 That their hearts might be comforted, being knit together in love, and unto all riches of the full assurance of understanding, to the acknowledgement of the mystery of God, and of the Father, and of Christ;

2 Chronicle 31:4  Moreover he commanded the people that dwelt in Jerusalem to give the portion of the priests and the Levites, that they might be encouraged in the law of the Lord.

Comfort according to Miriam-Webster is to: to cause (someone) to feel less worried, upset, frightened, etc.: to give comfort to (someone): as a transitive verb :  to give strength and hope to : cheer    to ease the grief or trouble of :  console

When we think of comfort it often comes to how we feel.  If we are comfortable we feel safe, secure.  If we comfort someone we help them feel the same.  But giving comfort is more than that, it is giving a person hope, encouragement to go on with life, to strengthen their resolve to continue with their endeavors.  One of the reasons giving aid and ‘comfort’ to the enemy is consider a capital crime.

Giving comfort and encouragement to people is a vital part of our role as a Christian – especially to fellow Christians. 

I have a difficult time accepting a compliment.  I always admire the person that graciously says, ‘thank you.’  It seems to come naturally to some people.  I remember a few days ago being in the store and seeing this little girl’s bright smile as she was talking with her mother and a friend – couldn’t help myself, I said, ‘You have a beautiful smile.’  She looked at me and simply said, ‘thank you,’ (with a big smile.  A little girl taking the compliment in stride, not prideful as if ‘of course it is’ but simply acknowledging my comment; she had already learned what I have yet to learn.  I tend to forget that is all it takes and start rambling on, embarrassed by the positive comments.  – not that I get that many.

Giving compliments, comfort, encouragement to others is something that takes some thought – some have the gift of observing and complimenting in a manner that is both positive and to the point of making the compliment without much difficulty.  Others of us need to think about it for a bit.  Saying ‘you do a good job’ is one thing, praising or thanking a person for a specific activity(s) that they have done well is much different.  Being specific speaks to the sincerity of the compliment and will have a positive impact on the recipient.

I recently read an article about a counselor who deals with seriously abused women.  No matter the abuse, sexual, physical or emotional the results are devastating.  As a Police Officer I saw the results of abuse all too many times.  After a while the victim loses all self-esteem.  The abuser treats them as objects to be molded into a pliable mess and has no regard for their mental or physical well-being; to them it is just self-gratification no matter the cost to the victim.

The victim’s state of mind often becomes such they think they deserve the abuse; they did something to upset the abuser that they should not have done.  Many feel there is no means of escape and suffer, often in silence, the damage done.  The abuser takes away their self-worth, isolates them from family and friends and dominates their every action.

The counselor says he must convince them they are worthwhile. Pointing out positive things about them; they are made in God’s image and that He wants to heal them of their pain.  He talks with them helping them work through the agony of the relationship(s) they have had in the past and focus on developing new positive relationships in the future – beginning with God. As a professional he doesn’t touch them as friends and colleagues might, but he comforts them with his voice and trained insights into what they are experiencing.

But that comfort that he gives, isn’t just to give them peace and a feeling of safety, once they realize they are safe, it is to encourage them to go forward, to give them confidence in themselves.  As they gain confidence, as they realize they did nothing to deserve the abuse, as they regain their personality and strength they find new friends, new outlets for their talents - that they have found are given to them by God. 

All too frequently people tell others that they will be all right, or not to worry – thinking they are giving comfort. However, without a genuine interest they just reaffirm that it isn’t all right, the person ‘comforting’ them has no idea what they are talking about.  That often is more to ‘comfort’ the comforter and make them feel better (they feel they HAVE to say something...) than an actual meaningful comment that helps.  

Comforting is two-fold, calming and making them feel they are save, guiding them to the arms of the Holy Spirit; then encouraging them to reach out, to overcome and move forward, in their life with God’s guidance and help.  Sometimes that means ‘pushing’ them past their self-perceived limitations and reaching further out than they are ‘comfortable’ in doing.

In America, today, there is too much emphasis on the feelings of those that are perceived as needing government to watch over them, the unfortunate ones.  While there are indeed people who truly cannot care for themselves, there are far too many that could be more productive if they were encouraged to do so.  It concerns me that being mediocre is now the expectation of society.  If a person is industrious they are penalized.  Schools are trying or are doing away with honor societies and recognition of scholastic excellence because it ‘hurts the feelings’ or some other lame excuse of those that aren’t able to make those grades. 

Everyone gets a ribbon whether earned or not.  Congratulations and well-done comments are being watered down when they are told to everyone no matter what kind of job they do.  What is fine for a two or three year old is not fine for someone older, yet the same criteria of accomplishment is allowed for older children up to and including adults.  We are babying them, not helping them grow.  While society may tell itself it is being a comfort to these people it is not, it is enabling them, codling them and self-esteem cannot be improved without genuine accomplishments – something a person can point to with some pride of ownership of having truly done a good job.  Too many people are being denied that opportunity of genuine and effective encouragement and growth.

Sometimes, comforting means to just be there for the person.  I can remember taking altar call training a while back – doesn’t hurt to keep abreast.  The trainer was real clear about what he felt needed to be done as we worked with a person who was confessing their sins and working through the process to accept Christ.  He told us he is seeing, way too often, well-meaning Christians working with a sobbing sinner and telling them it will be all right – it isn’t all right!!  They are still dealing with submitting to Christ and for us to short circuit that process is not comforting, it is interfering with the work of the Holy Spirit.  We need to be there, to pray with them, but not try and ‘comfort’ them; the Holy Spirit will take care of that.

But we can comfort each other with the knowledge that we and more importantly God cares for each of us.  We can be there for them, to love them to encourage people to grow in Christ and draw closer to Him.  We can encourage them to reach out and serve Him more effectively.  If we follow the Holy Spirit’s leading, He will give us the wisdom to give the right kind of comfort to others; not to smother them, but to encourage them.

Once again, developing God’s wisdom is a key in service to God. He will help us attain the necessary wisdom to be more effective followers.  It helps to practice by complimenting the waitress, the store clerk and other people that help make our day easier and provide needed service to us.  It is amazing how few people truly praise and encourage others in a meaningful manner.  The results of genuine encouragement and comfort can be life changing for some people.  Instead of an ‘automatic’ thank you, or a “have a nice day” comment we need to try and be more observant and deliberate in our acknowledgement of thanking someone who has helped us – it does wonders for them, and it also does wonders for us.

As Christians we have so much to give to people, so many ways to offer them comfort and encouragement - it is a shame if we don’t take advantage of the opportunities offered to us.

From the ColumbiaRiverGorgeous