We are now experiencing the sunless days in our neck of the woods.  It can be depressing for some people, and the longer it lasts the more they feel the burden. 

One of the things I don’t like about the weather here, we are in a bowl and while all around us might be experiencing sunshine, we have grey skies.  A sunlit day will be greatly appreciated when it comes!!

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Family Disturbances, cont.:

That family disturbance was actually a rape perpetrated by the husband.

The wife was afraid of her husband; she had been beaten many times, and had finally filed for divorce.  She was in The Dalles staying with her sister, trying to get away from him.

One weekend her husband found her and somehow got her away from her sister’s house to his motel and then raped her.

Afterwards she came to the Police station with her sister to report the crime.  I called the Detective Sgt. who interviewed her and then had her go to the hospital with her sister to do a rape kit.

Meanwhile, we went to the motel and talked to the husband; he not only admitted it, he was quite proud of it.  We arrested and booked him into the County Jail.

So, we had the victim we had the suspect and an open and shut case, except, they were still married in Idaho.  The divorce was not final.

The act, was not rape.                    

By both Oregon and Idaho laws a husband could not be prosecuted for demanding his connubial rights!  She was his wife and she was required, by law, to submit to him.

But, Oregon did start coming out of the stone age in the 1970’s.

A young lady came to The Dalles on some kind of grant to help set up a program to help abused women.  I was working Day Shift and the Chief appointed me as the liaison between the department and her program.  

Frankly, I don’t remember all that much what I did to help, she was pretty self-sufficient and was able to get assistance from people in the community.  That was the beginning of what is now called Haven from Domestic Violence.

Meanwhile, the legislature started trying to fix the laws.

The first fix was to make the arrest of the suspect, by the police, mandatory ‘unless, the wife objected.’

Frankly, that wasn’t much better than having her arrest him.  While we tried to talk to her out of his hearing, that wasn’t always possible, and there were some officers that didn’t bother to try and take the wife aside, just let her know that he was being arrested unless she objected – even without that in front of him though, husbands aren’t stupid, they knew that their wife could keep him from being arrested – and unfortunately the wife would often suffer the consequences for allowing him to be arrested.

Fortunately, the law was corrected the next time the legislature met, two years later.  Now, an arrest was mandatory if we had evidence of a crime and the wife was taken out of the equation.

Prosecutors started pushing for longer sentences and the Judges were giving them.

Since then many changes have been made and while there will always be family violence, the ramifications of the actions of the suspects are greater now.

I talked about the disturbance with the children sitting on the daveno listening and watching the tumultuous behavior, now if an arrest was made for assaults during family disturbances while the crime took place when children were present it is a felony, up to five years in a state prison.

Like many crimes of abuse, family disturbances will continue.  No matter what the law is, there are always those that can’t keep their temper in control and take out their frustrations on others.  AND, all too often the family becomes the punching bag for those frustrations.

Many times the abuser was either abused, or watched their mother being abused by their father.  They grew up with the idea that it was okay to assault the mother for perceived grievances.

That includes the daughter, who watched her mother submit and the son, who watched his father dominate the relationship using violence to get his way.

We are still dealing with centuries old problems when it comes to family abuses.  I had a friend who made the arrest of a grandfather who had sexually abused all of his daughters and granddaughters.  When arrested his defense was that he had the right to do so as the father and grandfather – as did his father and grandfather before him.

That’s how he was raised and believed.  And, unfortunately the daughters had also grown up with that and thought they had no choice.  Can’t remember who first reported the abuse, but the man was sentenced to prison for a number of years and the women in the family were offered counseling under the Oregon Victim’s laws.

No one should have to suffer from abuse by anyone, let alone a family member who should be caring and protecting them.

Copyright November 10, 2017 Art Labrousse

 

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Ephesians 3:14-16  KJV  “For this cause I bow my knees unto the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,

15 Of whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named,

16 That he would grant you, according to the riches of his glory, to be strengthened with might by his Spirit in the inner man;”

No matter our earthly family, and many have been abused by those members, God has welcomed us into HIS family through the sacrifice of His Son, Jesus.

God is our heavenly Father.

While God will chastise us to help us grow, spiritually, He never abuses and forever loves us.

Later, Art (-: